Love is a wonderful terrible thing.
Wonderful because it connects us to others in the ways we most need to be connected.
Terrible because that connection leaves us horribly vulnerable.
You can’t love someone and protect yourself emotionally. Not really.
Real love means hurting when the other person hurts, and being subject to all sorts of doubts and disappointments, disillusionments and frustrations.
And yet many people I know try to make love safe.
They try to control the other person’s feelings, or viewpoint, or behavior.
They operate out of their heads, hoping to keep their feelings buried and beyond danger.
Or they hedge their bet, limiting their emotional commitment in the hope this will keep their vulnerability manageable.
These tactics always fail.
Because you can’t love someone and protect yourself emotionally.
And because you can’t protect yourself without the person you love noticing.
And because, by its nature, love is a wonderful terrible thing.
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