Chapter 49: About people-pleasing

 

(This chapter is part of a self-assessment. For instructions on completing it, click here.)

 

 

[ ]   I pride myself on being a nice person.

[ ]   I believe that I should always be nice.

[ ]   I find it hard to reject another person no matter how much they may deserve it.

[ ]   I probably go overboard in doing nice things for other people.

[ ]   It’s much easier for me to acknowledge negative feelings about myself than to express negative feelings toward others.

[ ]   When problems arise in my relationship I assume that I’m to blame.

[ ]   I really believe that nice people get the approval, affection and friendship of others.

[ ]   I don’t think it’s nice to express anger towards others.

[ ]   I feel guilty if I get angry or upset with people I love.

[ ]   I’m afraid that if I’m not nice to others I will be ignored, rejected or punished in some way.

[ ]   I believe I should always be nice, even if it means allowing others to take advantage of

my good nature.

[ ]   Being nice and doing things to please others is my way of protecting myself from

rejection, disapproval and abandonment.

[ ]   I tend confuse guilt (the belief that I’ve done something wrong) with anxiety (fear of another’s anger or rejection).

[ ]   Sometimes I feel like I need to “buy” love and friendship by doing nice things to please others.

[ ]   Often being nice prevents me from expressing my true feelings towards others.

[ ]   I believe others would describe me as being polite, pleasant and agreeable.

[ ]   I think my friends should like me because of all the nice things I do for them.

[ ]   It is hard for me to believe that I can be myself and still be accepted and loved by others. 

 

 

NEXT:  About caretaking