When you fight your self.


5 responses to “When you fight your self.

  • leb105

    That’s cryptic…?

    • Steve Hauptman

      Sorry, didn’t mean to be. By “self” I mean the real you — not the social self that’s conditioned to meet the expectations of others, but the person inside the conditioning, including all of his or her authentic thoughts, feelings, needs, dreams and preferences. You cannot hide, distort or deny any of that without losing something important.

      • leb105

        sounds difficult to have 2 selves, I think I mostly have the conditioned one. Is that a transitional state, as the inner self grows and gets more confident?
        How are you doing?

        • Steve Hauptman

          It is difficult. It’s also normal. Not healthy, but normal.

          All human beings are split into two parts — public and private, authentic and conditioned, conscious and unconscious. We have little choice in the matter, since we are each raised to adapt to our environment (and hide important parts of our selves) by parents and teachers who were raised the same way, by parents and teachers who were raised raised the same way, etc.

          So living a divided life is the norm, and if we want to be healthier than that we have to work at it.

          Some of us work at it with yoga, or meditation, or some other spiritual practice. Artists work at it through their art. And some of us use therapy, which — when it is genuinely therapeutic — provides a safe place to be ourselves and to practice exchanging our conditioned Plan A for a more authentic Plan B.

          This is lifelong work, in my view. I doubt it’s possible to ever graduate into total one-selfness. (Even the Dalai Lama admits to having to wrestle with himself.) The good news is, over time, the internal split does begin to heal and the mind to quiet. Actually I think every time we find a way to accept ourselves just as we are, we heal a little bit. And the healing makes the work worth it.

  • Pankaj

    If u fight ur self u will win… Always… It is practically proven…. If u say u don’t it means u r chutiya

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