BOOK EXCERPT: The three paradoxes of control

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From Monkeytraps: Why Everybody Tries to Control Everything and How We Can Stop by Steve Hauptman (Lioncrest, 2015).

 

Chapter 50: Three paradoxes

A paradox is “a statement that is seemingly contradictory or opposed to common sense and yet is perhaps true.”*

Three paradoxes govern the functioning of control.

The first paradox is intrapsychic, operating within the controller’s own mind.  The second is interpersonal, governing interactions between people.  And the third is existential, rooted in the nature of existence itself.

The first paradox is

The more control you need, the less in control you feel.

The second paradox is:

The more you try to control other people, the more you force them to control you back.

The third paradox is:

To get more control in one place, you must give it up in another.

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TOMORROW: The First Paradox

 

 *Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary (Springfield, MA: G. & C. Merriam Company, 1977), 830.