Well, you are.
You just don’t see it.
Consider this view of how we operate:
From moment to moment, each of us carries in our heads a picture of how we want reality to be.
And we constantly compare that internal picture to the reality we have.
Everything we do to bring those pictures closer together — whether we do it out in public or in the privacy of our most secret thoughts — is what I mean by controlling.
See it yet?
Add this, then:
Discomfort of any sort – physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, everything from agony to an itch – amounts to a signal that the two pictures don’t match.
And we respond to that signal automatically.
So wherever there’s discomfort, there’s controlling.
And we all know how uncomfortable life can be.
Controlling, in short, is as reflexive and inevitable a response as slapping a mosquito that’s biting you.
See it now?
We’re forming two online study/support groups for readers who want to explore these ideas with me in real time. One group is for therapists who want to integrate these ideas into their clinical work. Both groups will be small, eight members at most, and meet weekly. Fee is $50 per session, and group members may purchase Monkeytraps (The Book) at half price. Interested? Write me: email@example.com.