All my hopes

ALL MY HOPESThere’s a couple I’m working with.

I have to see them separately.

I’m scared to see them together.

Because she can’t stop complaining about her husband, and he can’t stop complaining about his wife.

And I can’t help imagining a session with them both in the room as a sort of emotional demolition derby.

Bash.  Crash.  Crumple.


It’s like that with some couples, especially those who’ve been together for a long time.

They fall into the habit of blaming all their misery on each other.

Of defining each other as My Big Problem.

Which usually leads into defining changing each other as My Big Solution.

They pin all their hopes on somehow transforming their partner into the partner they want, need and deserve.

They pour all their time and energy into that project.

Which, of course, their partner just loves.

That way lies madness.

(Or at least demolition derby.)

Friend, don’t pin all your hopes on anyone else.

Learn.  Stretch.  Grow.  Mature.


Pin your hopes on yourself.

2 responses to “All my hopes

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: