Sometimes a banana

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. 
~ Ascribed to Sigmund Freud                                                               

.Sometimes a banana is just a banana.

And sometimes it isn’t.

Sometimes what we hang onto or try to control is important to us for its own sake.

And sometimes we hang on to it because it represents something else.

We’re often unaware of doing the latter.

We don’t see that we crave approval from the boss because we never got it from mom and dad.

We don’t understand that we feel compelled to keep our house in perfect order because where we grew up felt emotionally chaotic.

We don’t realize that we apologize constantly and compulsively because childhood taught us to fear criticism and rejection.

So much controlling happens unconsciously.  Often we’ve no idea what we’re doing, much less why.

But if we want to recover from our addiction to control, we need to start getting more conscious.                               

4 responses to “Sometimes a banana

  • Barb

    Is there a post how to be more conscious? Because, of course, I want to get it right.

  • Eunice

    “we feel compelled to keep our house in perfect order because . . .”
    Steve, I found the answer to my question.
    And “trying to improve communication with your kids by forcing them to talk to you . . .”
    Again, another question that has been answered.
    I was always trying to do, always trying to fix, always trying because trying never hurts, does it? Well, trying (CONTROL) is/was so damn hard to keep up and it was too taxing on me physically/mentally so I have really let go of trying (a.k.a. CONTROL).
    Are there other things I can improve upon with myself? Yes, so enlighten me & bring another monkeytrap on . . .
    Thanks =]

    • Steve Hauptman

      Recovery always begins, not with change, but with noticing what you’ve been doing unconsciously.
      So congratulations.
      Welcome to recovery.
      Keep noticing, and keep reading. 🙂

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