October 30, 2014
In the weeds
8 responses to “In the weeds”
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Steve & Bert
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October 30th, 2014 at 12:19 pm
Sir, when a client is reciting the painful past, should I fully listen or cut her short before explaining the idea of shifting the attention from past to overcome the pain.
What is catharsis?
October 30th, 2014 at 1:30 pm
Catharsis is the process of discharging painful emotions — fear, anger, grief — by expressing them. Exploring painful memories can be an effective (even essential) way of achieving that. So at the start of a therapy I usually spend plenty of time encouraging clients to do so.
The sort of perseveration this post describes is something else again. It’s the behavior of someone who’s (a) not getting any real relief from reviewing the past, and often (b) doing it to avoid any other kind of work in therapy — changing their own perceptions or behavior, for example.
I’d never cut someone off who was engaged in healthy cathartic discharge. But I try not to enable clients who’d rather review their painful histories over and over and over.
November 14th, 2014 at 12:49 pm
I’ve noticed that I want to wallow (about my imploded marriage) when I have a difficult writing project at work (lawyer). I have found that writing is my monkey-trap–I have been a “good writer” since I was in school. How do I get less anxious and get work done, and go out to play?
November 14th, 2014 at 3:52 pm
Please clarify: By “wallow” you mean obsess or perseverate? And how is writing your monkeytrap — because you get insecure and perfectionistic?
November 15th, 2014 at 10:24 pm
Yes to both.
November 16th, 2014 at 5:18 am
Sounds like you’re anxious. (Obsessing and perfectionism are both symptoms of anxiety.) Which suggests you may not have processed all your feelings about the marriage. That’s understandable, since it ended not long ago and major losses like that take some time to sort through. If we were working together I’d be asking you to explore your thoughts and feelings about it on a regular basis, and looking for signs that you may be stuck in the grieving process.
November 17th, 2014 at 8:56 pm
Thank you–that was helpful. I don’t think I have “processed” all my feelings. But I wonder if that is possible–is there an end? So many feelings, so little time 🙂 To be fair, I suppose I’ve always been a perfectionist given to brooding. The failed marriage only adds to that 🙂
November 17th, 2014 at 11:36 pm
I do think there’s an end, though not in the sense that the feelings go entirely away.
They just live in a quieter place.