Dance

 

Dance 2Conflicted couples tend to have the same fight over and over.

Ask them, and they’ll tell you just how it goes:

Who initiates. How their partner responds. How it escalates.  How long it lasts.  How it ends.  How they both feel afterwards.

I call this pattern The Dance.

The Dance repeats itself because it’s largely unconscious — rooted in hidden feelings that never get directly expressed (I’m scared you don’t really love me) and unresolved issues that don’t get identified, much less resolved (this is just like how my parents treated each other).

And for this reason, when they come to therapy, Dancing couples need more than a referee.

They need a translator.


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