Our culture trains women to be codependent — to lose themselves in relationships by putting the needs and feelings of others ahead of their own. Be endlessly loving, giving, accepting and patient, they are taught. Do this, and you will be appreciated and loved.
I call this basic training The Trance.
The usual result of trance-induced behavior is not love or appreciation but something resembling a hostage situation. Many women end up in relationships with narcissistic partners only too willing to take all they have to give and then demand more. Instead of angry and rebellious these women feel inadequate and guilty, convinced that their partner’s unhappiness is their fault.
Recovery for such women is about waking up from The Trance and creating relationships which treat them not as prisoners, but as people.