Therapists who work with families know that unhealthy ones tend to draft their members into roles meant to offset the family’s dysfunction. Like the Hero, whose unconscious job is to make the family look good, and who does this by overachieving and trying to be perfect. Or the Scapegoat, whose unconscious job is to alert the world to how screwed up the family is, and who does this by self-destructing.
The tragedy of such roles is that so long as you occupy one you can never be happy. You can never be yourself, never make your own choices, never recognize your own needs and feelings. You’re not a person. You’re a living sacrifice.