Over time every therapist develops a set of working assumptions that he or she brings to each new case.
Here are some of mine:
1. It is healthier to express feelings than to hide them.
2. Unexpressed feelings lie at the root of all emotional problems.
3. Secrets make us sick.
4. Problems in current relationships tend to echo problems in past relationships.
5. What we don’t get from our parents we will seek from our partners.
6. Being deprived in childhood of attention, acceptance, approval or affection leaves us chronically hungry for the same thing as adults.
7. When trying to understand some feeling or behavior, look for the underlying unmet need.
8. When deciding what you truly need, trust the body more than the mind.
9. There is no such thing as a totally grown-up human being.
10. The greater your need to control things in your life, the less in-control you’re likely to feel.
11. The more you try to control other people, the more you force them to control you back.
12. The price of more control in one part of your life is less control in another.