New glue

Submitted to The Practice Corner:
New glue
My wife’s mother was the glue that held their large family together, and after she died the members pretty much stopped communicating.  The one I missed most was my wife’s nephew Sean, a young man with whom I spent hours at family gatherings, just talking.  One day, eighteen months after his grandmother’s funeral, I surprised myself by calling him on the phone.  “What’s wrong?” was his first question.  It took five minutes to convince him I’d called just because I missed our conversations.  Then we spent an hour catching up.  He seemed as happy to reconnect as I was, and I got off the phone feeling proud of myself. This was not something I’d have done six months ago.  I‘d have been too scared Sean would feel imposed upon, or just not interested.  But reading and thinking about Steve’s alternatives to control  – especially the ones he calls responsibility (listening to feelings) and intimacy (being myself with someone else) – changed that.  I realize now how much I want and need to connect to the people in my life, and that I’m even willing to risk some discomfort to do it.  Turns out I can create my own emotional glue. 

~ Shared by J.R.S. (5/31/14)

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