UNPUB -- 191. Years of big-boys-don't-cry messages [][][]

8 responses to “Trimmed

  • Alice

    Sometimes I wonder if you’re a fly on my wall? Had a conversation about the “suck it up” mentality with boys this week.

  • Clare Flourish

    Do remember, too, that “it is not feminine to get angry”. I had the big boys don’t cry message- its complicated- and when I found my feelings, I found they were rage and terror.

  • SheLongedForStarsInHerHeart

    Your comment (Since all get socialized, we all get trimmed) is making me wonder if there could ever be societies where less trimming happens… Or are we bound to end up trimming in one way or another (if it is not crying or anger, it could be something else) because that is how societies are built /need to be built?

    • Steve Hauptman

      I’d like to think so. On one level, “less trimming” is what some people call social justice.

      But on a deeper level I assume there will always be tension between the needs of individuals and the needs of the tribe, and that — given the need of individuals to belong to something larger than themselves — the
      needs of the tribe will always be more powerful.

      In other words, we’ll always have to submit to trimming in exchange for membership.

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