This blog was launched

on March 30, 2011.


Happy birthday to us.


To celebrate,


announces its first



The Bert mug. Striking, no?


A classic collector’s item in toilet-bowl white with the iconic visage of the inimitable Bert etched in jungle-rot green.  Oh, okay.  It’s an ordinary coffee mug with a monkey cartoon on it.  But it’s free.  And we promise you’ll be the only person you know who has one.




The Bert Mug has many uses:

One use.

Another use.

Not recommended.




 To enter the contest, just:

(1) Sign up for the Monkeytraps mailing list by sending us an email to   Include your name and the word SUBSCRIBE in the subject line.

(2) In that same email, suggest a caption for the Bert Mug having something to do with control addiction. 

It can be serious or funny, poignant or pungent, clean or dirty, silly or profound.   For example:


All I want is total control. 


Is that a banana in your pocket?   


I control, therefore I am. 


Hey, that’s not the reality I ordered. 


Like that. 

Entries will be judged according to what makes the judges laugh loudest, cry hardest, think deepest, or experience instant remission of all codependent symptoms. 

Just kidding.  Send whatever you think sounds cute. 




Therapist, writer, cartoonist, codependency theorist, and co-author of Monkeytraps.





Inner monkey, career codependent, co-author of Monkeytraps, and the mug’s poster boy.





Bert’s wife, soon to appear in a series of “Bert’s Therapy” couples sessions. She asked to participate in this contest, and Bert can’t say no to her.  (Should give you an idea of what the couples sessions will be like.)  Refused to be sketched for this post (“With this hair?  Are you insane?”).










10 responses to “Win a BERT MUG!

  • releasing lunacy

    I wannna Bert mug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *puts thinking cap on* …..

  • releasing lunacy

    Um…oh yea… Happy Birthday Monkeytraps… *blushes* got a little overly excited about the Bert mug

  • WG

    Congrats on a year of blogging Steve! (and Bert!)
    Looking forward to many more!


  • Barbara

    Veeery funny, Steve – and clever. Must be an April Fool’s joke, right ? 🙂 yet …. it’s still worth thinking about; hmmm … I’ll let you know if I find a caption. As I am not a laterla thinker and these things take time with me, anticipate a possible reply in a few days LOL
    Really enjoy your blogs though !!! 🙂

    • Steve Hauptman

      Thanks, Barbara. No, it’s not a joke. (Though I probably should have anticipated someone would think so.)
      As for a caption, take your time. I plan to keep accepting entries right through to the end of April.

  • Barbara

    How about this ” NO TO CONTROL; YES TO SUBMISSION” ?

  • chuck

    my best so far..

    To Control or Not to control…..THAT is the Question!

  • chuck

    the Long form for my suggestion for a much larger mug or a case of mugs in sequence?

    To Control or Not to Control, THAT is the question!
    Whether ’tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
    The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,
    Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,
    And by opposing end them: to die, to sleep
    No more; and by a sleep, to say we end
    The heart-ache, and the thousand Natural shocks
    That Flesh is heir to? ‘Tis a consummation
    Devoutly to be wished. To die to sleep,
    To sleep, perchance to Dream; Ay, there’s the rub,
    For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come,
    When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
    Must give us pause. There’s the respect
    That makes Calamity of so long life:
    For who would bear the Whips and Scorns of time,
    The Oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s Contumely, [poor]
    The pangs of despised Love, the Law’s delay, [disprized]
    The insolence of Office, and the Spurns
    That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
    When he himself might his Quietus make
    With a bare Bodkin? Who would Fardels bear,
    To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
    But that the dread of something after death,
    The undiscovered Country, from whose bourn
    No Traveller returns, Puzzles the will,
    And makes us rather bear those ills we have,
    Than fly to others that we know not of.
    Thus Conscience does make Cowards of us all,
    And thus the Native hue of Resolution
    Is sicklied o’er, with the pale cast of Thought,
    And enterprises of great pitch and moment, [pith]
    With this regard their Currents turn awry, [away]
    And lose the name of Action. Soft you now,
    The fair Ophelia? Nymph, in thy Orisons
    Be all my sins remembered.[1]

    Respects to Shakespeare

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