Bert’s therapy: Irritated

Bert 1

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What’s wrong?

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Nothing.  I’m fine.

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You don’t seem fine.

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What do you mean?

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You seem irritated.

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I’m not.  I’m fine.

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Okay.

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Bert 5

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If you say so.

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Bert 6

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therapist 6

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What?

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therapist 7

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Jeez, let it go, will you?

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therapist 8

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Okay.  Okay.  I’m irritated.

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How come?

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Hell, I don’t know.  I’ve felt irritable for two days.

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What are you doing about it?

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Nothing.  Ignoring it. 

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So I gathered.  You own a car?

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Sure.

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 You know the red light on your dashboard?

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The one that lights when my engine overheats?

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Yes.  What do you think of a driver who covers that light with duct tape?

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Stupid.

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For ignoring the warning, right?

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Sure.

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Well, irritability is your body’s red light.

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What’s it mean?

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Something wrong under the hood.  Some imbalance.

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bert

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My point is, don’t tape over the damn light. 

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bert

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Don’t mask it with work, or food, or alcohol, sleep, or tv, or giving to other people.  

 

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Pay attention to yourself.

 

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Or end up on a lift or something?

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You wouldn’t be the first.

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                              * * *

Want more?

Being a friend to yourself might be the hardest work you ever do.

For a time, it might feel like you are turning your back on your family, being selfish, sacrilegious and unfriendly.  You won’t get kudos from your support groups.  You won’t be noticed or hear thank-you very often….

Being a friend to yourself means caring for the specifics of your body, your simple needs that lead to complex outcomes. Your exercise, your sleep, your diet, water and air are all worth fighting for.

These things you do for yourself become your currency. You find that the better friend you are to yourself, the better you become for others.

At this new place of safety for you, where you give less, you give more to those you love. You discover the mystery that no one can give what she doesn’t have.

Just like any bank, we deposit and withdraw and must protect our basic assets before we are taken over and lose the freedoms because we were poor managers of this one body that God gave us.

 ~ From Self-Care Works You, Pushes You, Tires You Out Until You Are Happily Spent On Your Friend – You by Sana Johnson-Quijada MD

  do. Fo

                              * * *

 

What self-care is not

Self-care is not self-pampering — not that there’s anything wrong with self-pampering — pedicures, dark chocolates, and other luxuries.  That is, as long as you can afford luxuries.  Spending money that you don’t have is self-indulgence.

Self-care is not self-indulgence.  Popularly, the terms self-care and self-indulgence are used interchangeably, as in “Oh, go ahead, indulge. You deserve it.”  We tell ourselves that we are practicing self-care when, in fact, we are engaging in self-indulgence.

Self-indulgence is characterized by avoidance of the effortful and substitution of quick and easy antidotes.  We tell ourselves that the stresses of the day have drained our energy and that vegging on the sofa with a quart of ice cream or a six-pack of beer is all we can expect of ourselves.  Rather than shouldering the hard work of self-care, we settle for temporary and largely symbolic fixes — some of which actually stress our systems further

How to practice self-care

Self-care means choosing behaviors that balance the effects of emotional and physical stressors: exercising, eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep, practicing yoga or meditation or relaxation techniques, abstaining from substance abuse, pursuing creative outlets, engaging in psychotherapy.

Also essential to self-care is learning to self-soothe or calm our physical and emotional distress. Remember your mother teaching you to blow on the scrape on your knee? This was an early lesson in self-soothing but the majority of adults haven’t the foggiest notion how to constructively soothe themselves.

From “Self-care may not be what you think it is” by Christine Meinecke, Ph.D. in Everybody Marries the Wrong Personback on your family, being seWhether the 

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5 responses to “Bert’s therapy: Irritated

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