(Steve and Bert are fighting a particularly stubborn cold, and so have decided to recycle and expand a post we wrote over a year ago:)
Peary relates that on his polar trip he traveled one whole day toward the north, making his sleigh dogs run briskly. At night he checked his bearings to determine his latitude and noticed with great surprise that he was much further south than in the morning. He had been toiling all day toward the north on an immense iceberg drawn southwards by an ocean current. ~ Jose Ortega y Gassett
Here’s why the idea of control fascinates me.
It’s an emotional iceberg, constantly carrying each of us southwards — away from where we want to go or where we think we’re headed.
Its size and invisibility make it easy to overlook.
But ignoring it is dangerous.
Because it hardly matters how hard you mush towards your goal when the iceberg keeps moving you in the opposite direction.
Feeling lost? Stuck? Exhausted? Depressed?
Stop mushing, already.
Question the iceberg instead.
You can do that by asking yourself:
(1) What is it I’m trying to control here?
(2) Have I been able to control this thing successfully in the past?
(3) If not, what can I do instead?
To answer (3), you’ll need to know something about the three alternatives to control.
We call them surrender, responsibility and intimacy.
They’ll be our subject next time.