Bert’s therapy: Hammer

I feel like crap.

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Why?

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I’m a failure.

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How so?

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 My wife says I’m insensitive, so I feel like a bad husband.

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therapist (3)

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I don’t make enough money, so I feel like a financial failure.  

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therapist (4)

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My son’s failing Math and my daughter’s socially anxious, so I feel like an inadequate father.

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therapist (5)

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I don’t have time or energy to fix what needs fixing at my house, so I feel irresponsible or lazy or something.

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2therapist (6)

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And you tell me I’m out of touch with my feelings.  So I’m even flunking therapy. 

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therapist (7)

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So I feel like crap.

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therapist (8)

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A big, fat piece of crap.

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therapist (9)

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A huge, stinky…

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Hold on a minute.

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bert

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Might as well do this right.

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Y

Here.

 

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What’s that?

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A gift.

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What’s it for?

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a

Give yourself a good whack on the knuckles.

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Are you crazy?  That would break my hand.

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Probably.

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betr

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But the pain would go away.  And the hand would heal in about six weeks.

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What you’re doing now — calling yourself names, labeling yourself a failure…

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bert

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…that’s permanent.  And the pain is endless.

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bert

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At least put a bow on it.

 

 

 

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a

 * * *

Want more?

 

Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self-neglecting.

~ Shakespeare, Henry V 

 

 

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Kristen Neff, Ph.D. answers the question,

What is self-compassion?

 

 

 

 

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The relentless search for high self-esteem has become a virtual religion; and a tyrannical one at that. Our competitive culture tells us we need to be special and above average to feel good about ourselves, but we can’t all be above average at the same time. There is always someone richer, more attractive, or successful than we are. And even when we do manage to feel self-esteem for one golden moment, we can’t hold on to it. Our sense of self-worth bounces around like a ping-pong ball, rising and falling in lock-step with our latest success or failure.

Fortunately, there is an alternative to self-esteem that many psychologists believe is a better and more effective path to happiness: self-compassion. The research of Dr. Kristin Neff and others strongly suggests that people who are more self-compassionate lead healthier, more productive lives than those who are self-critical. And the feelings of security and self-worth provided by self-compassion are highly stable. Self-compassion steps in precisely when we fall down, allowing us to get up and try again.

Self-compassion: Stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind by Kristen Neff, PhD.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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